A Story We Would All Love To Forget
by saiyan-dragon365
Summary: A strange and twisted story that is can be confusing...but its really funny!


A Story We Would Love To Forget  
By: saiyan_dragon  
  
One beautiful day turned ugly the second Vegeta stepped outside. The clouds were white and fluffy and the sun was shinning brightly. Now it was so dark and thunderous that if you were only out there for one nanosecond you'd be soaked to the bone.  
Well anyway, Vegeta stepped outside and he was soaked, pissed, and hungry. His mom forced him out so he wouldn't be late for school. 'Damn school! Damn mother that's obsessed with her son getting good grades and a great education! Damn father who just sits on his lazy ass and watches TV! Damn everything to hell! By the way.damn weather!'  
He stepped on the school grounds, unnoticed. Hoping that the scary beast wouldn't pounce on him and bug the hell out of him until he wanted to commit suicide. Then out of the shadows he saw the of a silhouette that was running towards him."Heya Vegeta!"  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!! I was hoping that you would be absent today!!!"  
"Vegeta?"  
"WHAT????"  
"What does 'absent' mean?"  
Vegeta sighed heavily before trying to avoid the annoying being that was following him.  
"Kakarott, don't you have better things to do? Like your harpy?"  
Goku looked at him puzzled. "What do you mean?"  
"Do you know ANYTHING????"  
"I know that a whale's penis is four yards long.and that a pig's orgasm lasts for thirty minutes."  
Vegeta looked at him for a moment, not sure how to respond. "You're one disturbed little boy."  
Goku laughed idiotically, with his hand behind his head.  
"What are you laughing about Kakarott? That's not funny."  
Goku stopped laughing and was silent for a few minutes. The rest of the group walked up to them and put them in the middle of their conversation.  
"Hey guys.man I can't wait to get in the building. Its down pouring."  
"What's wrong woman? Afraid you'll look like a drowned rat? Oh wait.you already look like one."  
"Shut up Vegeta. You look like one too. Anyway, whassup?"  
"Vegeta says that I'm a disturbed little boy.but I really don't understand what meant by that."  
"God Goku! Why do I even date you?" Chi-Chi practically screeched.  
"Because I have good looks and I'm nice?"  
"I guess that's why."  
Vegeta snorted quietly. "Good looks? Puh-leeze! If you put him next to Yamcha.no wait.never mind Kakarott looks better than him.next to that one creep Teinshinhan, the three eyed freak show would win.'  
"I wonder why the weather changed so suddenly. I mean, it was beautiful one minute, then it's the most hideous thing I've seen since Vegeta moved here," Bulma said, truth in her words.  
"You mean since the weakling. I know you want looove me. You want to hooold me."  
Everyone busted up in fits of laughter. When they grew tired of that, then they just laughed at Goku because he was standing there.  
"Please Vegeta! She's dating me, not you."  
"No need to get cocky weakling.I know about those others you said the same thing about. How you they're the one and only in your life and you would do anything for them." Vegeta said, in mock sweetness.  
"I.I don't know what you're talking about!"  
Vegeta nodded in a 'I don't believe you' fashion. Bulma looked at Vegeta uncertainly and glared at Yamcha. Goku and Chi-Chi were making out, like anyone cares about them. Juuhachigou and Krillin were gazing at nothing and mumbling satanic chants, the usual every day stuff.  
The bell rang and it became like a scene from hell. People were pushing other people. Screaming: "I'll kill you if you don't let me in first!" and "Get the hell out of my way! I'm an alien from outer space!" Whatever was wrong with these people seemed okay with everyone else.  
The rain came down harder than ever before. It was like bullets falling from the sky. In fact, it killed some people when it landed on some unprotected heads. ~ From afar in the clouds ~  
"Did you see me hit that one? It just dropped to the ground like a stone!"  
"Jesus! What did I tell you about killing idiotic kids on earth?"  
"Not to because it'll only make more annoying souls come to our gates."  
"Noooo.I said don't do it without me! Saint Peter! Don't encourage the boy!"  
"Yes holy one."  
"Son.what are you using anyway?"  
"The holy hose of death."  
"JESUS!!!" ~ ERRR.Ummm.Back to the crazy story. ~  
"SUPER SAIYAN JESUS!!!!!" ~ Wrong story.~  
"All right class! Pay very close attention! This could be a matter of life or death."  
Everyone leaned in their seats in excitement. They couldn't wait to hear what was wanting to be said.  
"I have been laid off! Can you believe that bastard laid me off! I'm going to walk in his office and."  
Everyone was silent for a moment then broke into cheers and excited chatter. The teacher, Mr. Whipperschnapper, couldn't believe his ears! So instead of yelling at them he just ran out of the room bawling his eyes out.  
"Its about time that guy left!" Vegeta ranted. "He was naggy. Just like my mom."  
"Awww.how cute. Vegeta still live with his mother." Yamcha sneered.  
"So do you, asswipe!"  
"Shut up."  
"You're all a bunch of children." Bulma said sternly, then busted up laughing when Vegeta acted like he was a fish. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's not funn.BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"  
Vegeta just looked at her then began to poke Yamcha annoyingly.  
"Vegeta stop.stop.stop.you're hurting me.WHAAAAAAAAA!!" Yamcha began to bawl like a two year old. "MOMMY!! HE'S HURTING ME!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"  
Bulma instantly began to calm him when she looked at Vegeta. "Why did you hurt him? You bastard.BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HOOOHAHAHAHHA!! HEEEEHEEEHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Vegeta cut her off with a cross eyed fish face with a continuing "BULUB BULUB!"  
Krillin walked over and gave Vegeta a satanic curse then left. Juuhachigou came over, did the funky chicken, poked Yamcha, causing him to bawl his head off, then followed Krillin.  
"STUDENTS OF ROOM 255!!! Sto.BWAHAHHAHAHA!!! VEGETA STOP IT!!! YOU'RE KILLING ME!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! TEEEHEHEHEEHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Vegeta had his face smashed in between his hands, his tongue sticking out, blowing an ever-lasting raspberry.  
Soon everyone was laughing.  
"HAHAHAHAHA!!.ahem.BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!.Vegeta you're suspended.HOOHOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!" The principal, Mr. What rasped, wiping tears from his eyes.  
Vegeta stood up on his desk with a determined look on his face. "I FARTED!!!!!!"  
"WHAT??????" Mr. What screamed.  
Vegeta stepped down and proceeded out of the classroom filled with non-stopping laughter. When he got home his mother was waiting for him, tears in her eyes.  
"Vegeta! Something tragic has happened!"  
"What? What is it?"  
"The school called and said you were.*sniff*.SUSPENDED!!!!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY??? WHY HOLY GOD??? WHY???????"  
"UHHHHHHHHHHHH...whatever you say mom.. I'll just be in my room." Vegeta said, sneaking backwards up the stairs.  
"Oh! My boy is slowly becoming those kids you do drugs and doesn't listen to their superiors."  
Vegeta shut the door to his room quickly and locked it. 'Crazy woman.'  
Vegeta pulled out the lemon fanfic he was writing. For what seemed like hours on end the loud screechy voice of his mother reached his ears. "VEGETA!!!!!!!! DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"OOOOOKKKKAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!"  
Vegeta got up and ran downstairs, skidding to a stop at the kitchen table. "What's for dinner?"  
"Sauerkraut and spinach with the topping of ketchup. "  
Vegeta looked horrified. He almost didn't dare ask the next question. "What's for.uhhh.dessert?"  
"My wonderful homemade ice cream!" She said in a disgustingly perky voice.  
Vegeta almost lost it right there.her ice cream was made from frozen soy milk and sugar. He wouldn't touch that even if it was the last thing on earth! "That's .great mom."  
"Not that bullcrap excuse for food again! I thought I told to order takeout!" Vegeta's father yelled.  
"Well.maybe if you didn't spend all the money on your stupid booze, maybe we wouldn't have to eat my own delicious home cooked meal!"  
"DELICIOUS????.even a dog won't touch that food!!! That's if you can even call that food."  
Vegeta just made a couple of sandwiches and sat the table, eating them as he watched his parents argue. Vegeta's mother pounced on his father and was punching his head rapidly. Vegeta's father picked her up and power slammed her into the chair next to him. Happens all the time in this house. Vegeta finished his sandwiches and grabbed a coke and a small container of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.  
"That was delicious mom!"  
She was in the middle of tombstoning Vegeta's father before she muttered. "That's nice honey." ~ From afar in the clouds.again. ~  
"WRESTLING'S ON!!!!!" Jesus yelled, everyone ran up to watch.  
"Its on every night."  
"I know.but its fun to watch."  
They all gathered around. Buddha to God to Shiva to Saint Peter.they all gathered to watch the big fight between Vegeta's parents. ~ Back to earth.~  
Vegeta went up stairs and continued to write his little story.  
~ "Woman! Come here!"  
"I'm coming just hold on."  
Silinia came downstairs and entered the kitchen, only to get pressed against the wall. "Riku.what's the meaning of this?"  
He said nothing but took her lips in his, making it hard for both of them to breathe.~  
Vegeta bit his pencil.he was never one of those romantic types so he didn't know what to write next. After three minutes of chewing his pencil his mother walked in.  
"YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!!!"  
"Why?"  
"YOU'RE DOING DRUGS!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO!!!"  
Vegeta looked confused for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. His mother's been convinced that he's been doing drugs since he was two. The phone began to ring violently before he finally picked it up. "What?"  
"Hey Vegeta!"  
"How the hell did you get my number???"  
"Goku."  
"I'm going to.wait.how did he get my number?"  
"Don't ask me."  
"Who is this?"  
"Uhhh.Bulma."  
"HOLY SHIT!!! WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?????"  
"I dunno.doing something you're not suppose to?"  
"No."  
"I know what you did last summer."  
"UHHHH.what?"  
"You made out with a girl with blue hair."  
".How do you."  
"Because.that girl was me!"  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
After that Bulma hung up, leaving Vegeta to sit there, dazed. Last year was middle school and Bulma only lives two blocks away. Vegeta hung up the phone slowly. Not sure he registered this right in his head. Surely that weakling, Yamcha would know. Vegeta ran downstairs and out the door, determined to get to Bulma's house. Halfway there he ran into Yamcha strutting down the street.  
"Hey Vege-brain? Whatcha' doin'? Better not be going to Bulma's or else."  
"Or else what? You're going to cry all over me?"  
"Mmm.well.shut up!"  
"Hahaha.wimp boy. Cry whiny baby! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
Yamcha proceeded to run home bawling his head off as Vegeta smirk to himself. "That was too easy."  
Vegeta reached her doorstep and rang the door bell. Bulma's crazy mother answered the door. "HELLO KIND STRANGER!!! WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU??? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BWHAAHAHAHAHAHA!! TEEEHEEE!! WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA?? HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAH!!!"  
'Someone forgot to take their loony pills.' "Uhhh.is Bulma here?"  
"YES!! PUMPKIN!!! SOME HANDSOME YOUNG BOY IS HERE TO SEE YOU!!"  
Bulma ran down the stairs and just looked at Vegeta. "Mom.go make something or something."  
"WHAT EVER YOU SAY DEAR!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"  
After she left Vegeta put his gaze back at Bulma. "Your mother is psychotic! What the hell happened to her???"  
"Nothing.she's been that way since.since forever."  
'Thank god my mom's not like that.'  
"What did you come here for?"  
"Does that weakling boyfriend of yours know about what happened last year?"  
"Of course not! He'd bust into tears.I don't want that happening to his poor sensitive feelings."  
"I knew girls seemed to go for the sensitive ones but he makes the sensitive ones look arrogant for crying out loud!"  
"I know.he's a total crybaby.but who cares.want to go upstairs?"  
"UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...."  
Bulma dragged Vegeta upstairs before he could protest. Vegeta was zoning out but soon snapped back to reality as he was thrown on her bed. "What the."  
Bulma climbed on top of him, after she securely shut and looked her door. "What the hell are you doing??? I'm too young to be a subject of wild monkey lovin'!!!!"  
In a husky voice she answered, "But you actually have some sense.I want you badly."  
Vegeta was scared for his life and mad at his midsection. He wanted to keep his virginity so that way he could lose in such a stupid way that everyone would laugh about it. He didn't want to lose it because it just happened.  
Bulma was ravaging his neck until time totally froze and she stopped moving.  
"What the."  
"You may go now my son."  
"Who are you?"  
Standing in the middle of the room was Donkey Kong, somehow able to speak perfect English. "I am Donkey Kong! Holder of the rights for holding out on Wild Heated makes-you-sweat-until-you-can't-even-dream-about-the- word-clothes feverish monkey lovin'."  
"That's a long title."  
"I've been meaning to change it but my manager won't let because he makes the rules."  
"Whatever." Vegeta bounded out the door and back to his house, scared for his life. He wanted to lose his virginity by falling onto someone while he's tired, high, drunk, and just plain wanting to screw.stupid huh?  
"That whole house is filled with lunatics."  
Vegeta sighed and went to sleep..  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Vegeta bolted upright by the seemingly stupid dream he just had."What the hell was that? Donkey Kong? Bulma's mother psych.oh wait, she is psychotic.Super Saiyan Jesus? Me writing things 'romantic'?"  
Vegeta jumped out of bed and ran for the shower, too ashamed of his dream and well.smelling so bad that Bulma made him sleep on the couch.  
"What a nightmare." Vegeta stepped out only to see Donkey Kong standing there holding the book-with-the-extremely-long-title-that-I'm-not- going-to-repeat-again. Vegeta stood there. Cold. Wet. And well.naked.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"  
The End!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
